(Rochester, NY) – There are a lot of resources available to help people dealing with mental illness and addiction, but when it comes to those who love them—friends and family—help is harder to come by.
“They often get very little help dealing with some highly fraught and complex issues,” says Keith R. Wilson, a licensed mental health and certified alcohol and substance abuse counselor from Rochester, N.Y. with more than 30 years of experience. “I’ve known about this problem for a long time and have struggled with what to do about it.”
Finding no good resources other than counseling to help this growing population of people, Wilson has created one of his own: the soon-to-be-released book, The Road to Reconciliation: A Comprehensive Guide to Peace When Relationships Go Bad. New York publisher The Narrative Imperative Press, will release the title in Nov. 2018.
The Road to Reconciliation features resources for both the “offender” and those who have been “offended.” The idea is to help bring the two sides together. Wilson points out early in the book that conflict resolution begins by first setting up regulations so conflict won’t go awry, then having a plan in place for when people don’t follow through.
The book begins with a section on assessing the damage. Part two covers what to do when you get stuck. “Spend too much time feeling victimized and you’ll be at risk for becoming one of them. The road to reconciliation, or even personal peace, is so difficult, poorly marked, and treacherous that few people travel it without losing their way,” he writes in the beginning of that section.
The book also discusses the feelings people experience while in conflict with others. These include anger and rage, sadness and grief, contempt and disgust, despair and shame just to name a few. Also covered is how to view the big picture when it comes to conflict so you understand the needs of both sides, the steps you’ll need to take to repair the relationship, how the people involved in the conflict can both come out feeling like they’ve “gotten justice,” what to do when problems take over and what to do if it becomes clear that reconciliation is impossible.
Wilson says one of the biggest mistakes he sees repeated by people dealing with conflict is trying to come to terms with their partner before they really dig in and look at their own thinking and behavior. “Most of the time bad behavior is rooted in a sense of feeling like a victim. Even if you are clearly the bad actor and have done bad things, you need to come to terms with the reasons and see what their power is before you can change the bad things you do,” says Wilson, who estimates he has worked with more than two thousand people over the past 30 years.
Copies of The Road to Reconciliation: A Comprehensive Guide to Peace When Relationships Go Bad will be available for purchase online at www.keithwilsoncounseling.com and Amazon.com beginning on Nov.1, 2018.
About the Author
Keith R. Wilson of Rochester, N.Y., is a psychotherapist who considers himself a generalist, but has worked primarily with people in specialized populations, such as addicts, sexual offenders, people who have committed domestic violence and those with gambling problems. He has also worked with people who have had extra martial affairs, and those who have been neglected or abused by their family of origin.
“Everyone I have worked with has one thing in common. They have all had problematic relationships with the people they love,” says Wilson.
In an effort to help both his clients and the people they love come back together, Wilson decided to write the book, The Road to Reconciliation: A Comprehensive Guide to Peace When Relationships Go Bad, which offers a roadmap for people in conflict on how to resolve their differences.
He is also the author of Constructive Conflict, which offers practical advice on how to manage conflict; and he has two novels that feature characters dealing with mental illness. The titles are Fate’s: Janitors: Mopping Up Madness at a Mental Health Clinic and Intersections.
Wilson also blogs about mental health issues. The blog can be found on his website, www.keithwilsoncounseling.com.
Keith R. Wilson has a master’s degree in education with an emphasis on counseling from Alfred University in New York. He is Chairman of the Board of The Bridge, a charitable organization dedicated to empowering individuals and families who are homeless in Monroe County, N.Y.
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